


He Was Not Hers to Have

by adventursplorer



Series: One Shots [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Holiday, Thailand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventursplorer/pseuds/adventursplorer
Summary: The saying kept going through her mind. With every look, every smile or touch, he was not her's to have.





	He Was Not Hers to Have

Group holidays were always the best and worst for Clarke Griffin. A group holiday to Thailand was going to probably be the death of her.

They were the best because she got to spend two weeks with the people she loved the most.

It was the worst because of Bellamy Blake; the cause of all her heartache was present.

He was her supposed best friend but sometimes that line was a bit blurry. Sometimes, it involved a lot of alcohol and a good night out.

The weeks leading up to their Thailand trip that line was crossed a few too many times and that had Clarke slowly falling into the trap of Bellamy Blake. This time, a lot of it was done sober.

However, the next day they were always back to friends as if nothing had happened the night before. It wasn't anything major, when they slightly over tipsy it was a little more handsy and a few quick kisses, probably drunkly placed (it's what Clarke told herself).

When they weren't drinking, it was just small touches, hugs for no reason that lasted too long, the winks, fingers trailing up and down her arms as he stood behind her as she spoke.

He even made fun of her at times when she insisted she could never get married that she would. He once even had the balls after a few drinks and in a deep conversation, to say, 'I'm the only one you could marry right now.' (It made sense in the context that the only guy she could tolerate was him). She didn't admit it, although in her mind she 100% agreed with him.

It wasn't a best friend 'thing' going on, it was more. Monty saw what was going on a day before they left for Thailand, and he gave Clarke raised eyebrows until finally he pulled her over and she spilled on what was going on. His raised eyebrows went further up into his hairline as she continued telling him the story.

Then she got to the best part, showing Monty something that Bellamy messaged her a day before:

It worte: 'I want to try again with Gina'. Now, Bellamy hasn't seen Gina in a year and they barely spoke in that year. Now he'd be seeing her again, he wanted another shot.

The last time they were together, she couldn't stand him for a week and her mood with him was very up and down. When she wanted the attention she got it when she didn't, she would turn her back on him and this time wouldn't be any different.

Bellamy was a very love giving person, (Clarke would know) and for him it's limitless. Once he's got a mindset, he sticks to it and will work at nothing to get there. For Gina that would be too much.

I loved Gina as a person, but when she and Bellamy were together it was just them. No one else, and it shut me, all our friends and Octavia out. Octavia didn't really like her for that reason and for the same reason Monty completely understood as well.

Monty helped Clarke through the first few days of the holiday but she managed to actually get to talking to Gina. She pulled Clarke into a conversation about Bellamy and sudden truths were made.

"How's Bell doing?" She asked, with a peak curiosity of a mutual friend.

"He's good, finally managed to her that job as a teacher." Clarke responded casually as if Gina would know.

"Ah really, I didn't know that. I'm guessing its history?" Gina joked, pulling a laugh from Clarke.

"Yeah, he really loves it," Clarke says and then continues, "he was really looking forward to seeing you this trip. Maybe thinking of rekindling an old flame." Clarke jokes, stabbing at her own heart.

"What? No! I don't get him, you know? He's picking up feelings from thin air, don't know where he's getting it from." She says and at that moment Clarke feels like her hearts been released.

"You guys should probably talk about that, cause he's going to stick with you until you give him the, no go." Clarke tells Gina, causally, containing herself.

Turns out Gina doesn't speak to him, but whenever he does get too close to her, she would send an eye roll at Clarke like, 'what is this guy doing?'.

Clarke would smile sweetly, give a nervous laugh and then try shut the jealous feelings out.

On the third night in Thailand, after Gina had gone to bed (early as she usually did), Clarke went into Bellamy's room that he was sharing with the boys and was waiting on Monty.

Bellamy came in took at glance at Clarke and says "This is kind of weird but, you look very beautiful tonight."

Clarke laughs, "It's just my ass looks good, don't lie." She says, as an inside joke between the two.

"It does look very good." He says, giving a small laugh and sits next to where she lies on her tummy on the bed. "You know what..." he says and he pokes at her side, which starts a whole wrestling match between the two and he ends up pinning her down, on top of her.

Suddenly Monty comes in and there's a smooth transition between the two as they straighten out. "As you were." Is all he says as he goes into the bathroom.

Bellamy and Clarke burst out laughing as he shuts the door and the rest of the group come in to just chill about their room. Bellamy stays on the bed with Clarke even as she drifts slightly off to sleep.

That was only one of the nights, another they spent talking for hours with him skimming his fingers up and down her legs that he pulled onto his lap.

Another was spent talking to their friends while he sat on a couch she sat between his legs on the floor and he would try tickle the tops of her ears or her neck and she would grab at his hand and he would hold onto it for that second too long.

Every day though, he would be around Gina and follow her around. He would barely touch her though, and if he did it was a small innocent touch.

Finally, Monty pulled him aside and asked him what was going on with Gina. He thought things were going great. Monty told Clarke to tell Bellamy what she said to me and because her loyalties lay with him, she did. She told him how Gina felt like he was too much at times and she maybe he could give her some space.

He wouldn't take it, saying that if he was to be with someone it shouldn't be half in, half out. He glanced at Clarke when he said it and she felt as if she had done something wrong. Monty later told her, it was nothing that Bellamy was just angry at himself and Gina.

He wasn't going to make conversation with Gina unless she started it with him and good for him the next few days, Gina wanted the attention and wanted to be around him. So Bellamy found himself in a whole circle again, fixated on Gina.

Limited attention would be fixed on Clarke and she hated it. She needed his touch, his attention, his voice, him. She could not have him.

He was not hers to have.

At a beach bar one night, the group had dispersed, Bellamy had found Clarke trying to separate herself from him (not that he knew that), lying on a beach lounger and rest his head on his hands on her tummy. Her heart rate picked up, but one thought consumed her mind.

He was not hers to have.

They talked for a while, his hands drifting up and down the middle of her chest, reaching her sternum playing with the middle of her bikini. Her heartstrings pulled and yearned for more of his touch but she knew she could not have him.

He was not hers to have.

His hands drifted further up and found her neck stroking up the side of it. She didn't like people touching her neck, but found she loved it when he did.

He was not hers to have.

He rested his hands on hers and held onto her as they spoke and they talked for what seemed like hours and then Gina came along. Bellamy lazily got up and squeezed her hand.

He was not hers to have.

He walked away with Gina and that felt like it was it.

He was not hers to have.

That was all that ran through her mind that night.

He was not hers to have.

She fell asleep to the chant of her own voice in her mind.

'He was not yours to have.'

Days kept going by, she was determined to not let this ruin her holiday. So, she stuck with Monty who thankfully understood and avoided Bellamy. Whenever she saw him coming her way she went somewhere else, she didn't want to deal with the hope he gave her.

It's one day when they're in Phuket and Bellamy and Clarke get put on the same boat with Octavia, Lincoln, Miller and Bryan.

The other couples are busy talking amongst themselves so it leaves Clarke in a difficult situation when Bellamy comes and sits next to her.

She starts the conversation, "So how are things with Gina?" She stares straight ahead at the glistening water.

He pauses at her question and looks down, "I've made a few realisations lately that, um..." he pauses again, "I should stop trying. It's like getting blood out of a stone at times and then other times it's a free-flowing river." He says giving Clarke a smile.

It gets gentler when he realises she isn't looking at him. She's still watching the water out in front of them, her heart feeling like it's been torn to pieces.

Bellamy picks up on something off, "Clarke, what's wrong?" He asks her, stroking a finger up her cheek and tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear.

She leans into his touch, her addiction being refueled and sighs of frustration.

"Bellamy, if you're saying that then you can't go back on yourself like you did the last time. There's someone that's so much better than her for you. She's absolutely lovely, but she doesn't deserve you." Clarke tells him and even in her mind she's saying to herself, 'I'm not even good enough for you.'

Bellamy pulls Clarke in close and presses a kiss in her hair and whispers something she doesn't quite catch with the wind. She doesn't press it, she just leans into his touch soaking up what time she has to spend with him.

The island stop is beautiful and when they finally anchor down for a swim, Bellamy doesn't leave her side.

He's back to his old self of wanting more of Clarke. He sees Gina in the distance but smiles and shakes his head thinking, 'How stupid could I have been? It was always Clarke.'

He holds onto the side of a pontoon and pulls her closer to him in the water and strokes a thumb along her cheek and says, "I'm yours, Clarke. Yours to have, yours to take if you want me. It was always you, I just never knew how you felt and I was scared to ruin our friendship but now I don't care. I just needed to tell you how much I need you."

She smiles at that point, something true and genuine.

'He is yours to have.'

She then kissed him, slow and wanting. And just like a blossom, their hearts bloomed, Bellamy knew this was it for him. He was taken and there was no returning back. Clarke's love found her and with their flowering hearts between them, they had a beautiful love.


End file.
